Aqua Fly Free
“Some day I’ll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me, where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly and the dream that you dare to, oh why, oh why can’t I?”
During Christmas 2017 I had the gift of connecting with my very dear friend / sister / mother Anki, who passed away and flies free where blue birds fly.
It all started very innocently while I was sitting on the potty :) having a “wee wee” (Anki always had a sense of humour). It was about two weeks before the New Year.
I felt a tug on the back of my t-shirt something living was crawling on my back, I wasn’t sure what it was.
I got up quite quickly, looked in the mirror and I saw the most beautiful, magnificent blue bird hanging on quite desperately.
I wondered how did this little precious beauty find me. My bathroom has a very tiny window and an awkward roofing system to gain entry.
She was tired, exhausted, clearly she had been on quite a journey and she wasn’t very good at flying.
How did she find me?
For me, I was in awe, excited, with a little trepidation, since I had never held a bird in my hands before. Her plumage was breathtaking, an arrangement of aqua blues and purples.
She was the cutest little bird I had ever seen. I was joyful. This little bundle of blue became a messenger from spirit.
She became “Aqua”.
A messenger from beyond, from my dear friend Anki and I will tell you why. Anki always loved Christmas time and I miss her tremendously at that time of year.
I looked out the window with Aqua on my hand and I could see the roses blooming in the center of a heart shaped labyrinth I had designed in memory of Anki in my garden.
“well, I see trees of green and red roses too I’ll watch them bloom for me and you and I think to myself what a wonderful world”
Anki’s messages from beyond continues to be about seeing beauty in everything and how wonderful the world is.
Aqua was not accustom to flying and she needed some time to build up her strength. She was probably accustomed to being in a cage.
So, for the next week we settled into a routine. Aqua would sleep in my office climbing up the metal wrought iron at sunset to sleep perched at the top.
During the day she would perch herself on my headwhile I was working. I would bring her out into the living area and she would perch herself on the top of a “Juan Lin” statue. I figured the Goddess of Compassion would take care of her.
Aqua was adorable and spunky. When she was ready she would be calm and cool. Any little bit of anxiety a poop would follow and a good pecking would start. I became good at jostling my fingers from one side of a branch to the other. Determined she was to get a good peck at my fingers! Then other times she would just sit there like a yogini complete still and serene.
She was a delight! I started to get to know her and her moods and her fears. We became pals.She would fly on top of my computer screen. On top of my desk lights. And her favourite place was on top of my head or my husband’s head or anybody’s head!
I fell head over heels in love!
When Aqua flew outside I would go out with a stick and she would climb down the branches and hop on to the stick and come back in with me.
Christmas day rolled in and it was time to open presents. One of my dear yoga students gave me a present of great significance. When Anki was sick she would spend time making fun necklaces made of old newspaper and magazines rolled up to make beads.
When I opened my present it was a set of coasters made up of rolled magazines and lacquered just like Anki’s necklaces. On the top of each coaster was a picture of similar birds to “Aqua”.
Anki my dear friend was communicating with us. I was so excited and happy.
My daughter’s boyfriend wanted a Ukulele for Christmas and when he opened his present he promptly began to practice “Somewhere over the Rainbow” the Hawaiian version sung by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.
The same version that a poet friend of mine emailed to me a few nights before recommending that I listen to the words.
The words Anki wanted me to hear.
Christmas morning was spent singing about blue birds.
“Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, and the dreams that you dreamed of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly and the dreams that you dreamed of dreams really do come true”.
The significance of Aqua started to amplify deeper and deeper in me.
Anki you have come through loud and clear. You found a way to communicate with us.
And the way she had orchestrated it showed us the vast intelligence of the world on the other side.
Aqua had her own songs too. She would converse and sing with my husband and my daughter’s boyfriend. And her little neck would go back and forth in reply. Precious she is beyond words.
I felt that Aqua was getting stronger and stronger, to the point that I felt comfortable taking herout with me on the porch knowing she could fly away quite easily.
My hope was that she would choose to live in the trees nearby and come in from time to time to visit with us all.
Why must we impose our will on animals? I thought long and hard on this. But a bird, a bird can fly high in the sky.
Aqua had me reflecting on many levels.
I kept telling myself relax and let spirit guide me.
Osho the mystic would say that we all live in a cage. A mental cage.
Will the predators get us? Can we move beyond our fears? Fight or Flight.
Can we emancipate ourselves from mental slavery? Our prophet - Bob Marley.
I want to ...
I want to fly beyond the rainbow ...
where blue birds fly …….
Aqua, my teacher. Every day she was stronger, more confident less scared. She was getting quicker, so quick that I could not catch her if I wanted to. That was comforting to me.
On the morning of January 1st, 2018, I came in to see her. She flew straight on top of my head. I always felt that she was fine tuning my crown chakra.
I opened up the patio doors and went outside with her. She immediately without hesitation flew up into the branches of the nearby trees in my garden.
She was close enough that I could extend a long stick but she just looked at me with one of the many looks that she has. Her eyes, sometimes half open, sometimes full open, conveyed so much, they were motherly, they were wise and they were spunky.
We spent about an hour or more together. I sat and looked at her. I would raise my stick every now and then in case she wanted to jump on. She would just watch me. No side stepping towards the stick. She was not interested. I knew the time had come for her to go.
I felt it in my heart.
I had to let go.
This is her choice.
I brought my camera out and took loads of pics and videos. In her wise way she gave me the time I needed. She gave me some good camera poses! I kept my eyes on her as much as I could. And then in what seemed like an instant she disappeared. I turned my head for a moment and she was gone.
Puff the magic dragon.
She was not on any nearby branches. I searched high and low. I knew deep down inside she had gone.
I wanted her to fly beyond the rainbow.
I could not, would not cage her.
When I told another dear friend about how Aqua had gone she wrote this to me.
“How lovely in a way! She was a reminder of the things in life that are so wonderful! To always believe in the wonder of life. And she flew off on New Year’s Day! The beginning of a new year, new experiences and new freedom to explore. True magic exists and you reflect that in your classes and look what an amazing example “Aqua” was to remind you magic does exist.”
Aqua was symbolic of facing our fears, building our strength and flying free.
Yes, I worry that she will be okay but I choose not to feel guilt. Yes, I am attached to her but I know nothing is permanent.
I love her and my tears will come again and again and not for a second would I give up this feeling of love and loss. She is still with me and always will be.
I pray to Sarasvati to protect her for my own sake but I know deep in my heart that she is safebecause she came to me from Anki.
Thank you Aqua!
Thank you Anki
Thank you so much for visiting us.
I love you both deeply and dearly.
love you beyond time!
"Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly, and so can I."